Thursday, January 31, 2008

Love the tarot

Our new stuff!

I am a reluctant Facebook user. I never thought I would join until I started traveling and all my friends abroad told me to do it. Now, I visit my profile online on a daily basis and wonder why I need to know that Todd Schoeps added the New York Mets Fans application or that Tova Heiney and Joshua Kunis are now friends.

I do it to write messages to people, and I like to look at people's pictures, but I am currently addicted to my "tarot card" reading that gets posted on my profile everyday. Today I got the Wheel of Fortune card:

"The Wheel of Fortune deals with the unpredictable situations in life. Your path in life takes many detours, often directed by forces and events beyond your control. This card represents change in your life, so be ready for unexpected challenges to come your way. This card usually denotes that good luck is coming your way."

That's so exciting! And I get messages like that everyday!

Today, the furniture arrived to my apartment. The guys who delivered the couch from Macy's were very professional. Got the job done and were friendly to boot. The guy who brought the dining set from Gothic Cabinets was a lunatic. He had to put the table together and was devastated that he could not find the screws, making me look inside the box for him. He then told me that he couldn't put the table together, and I had to figure out something to do about it because, in his words, "you are the boss." When I called the store to reschedule the delivery due to lack of screws, he is outside in the hallway, banging all the boxes around and yelling on the top of his lungs. He found them. I watched him put the table together. He was huffing and muttering to himself the whole time. I don't know if this man likes his job.

In the middle of this chaos, I get a call from the HR department of a magazine company, asking me my salary requirements and if I want to come in for an interview for a full-time position at a magazine. It's full-time marketing, but I am a little intrigued because I think the job would be fun. I told her I would call her back. It was getting too crazy with this guy yelling at me and me trying to figure out what the hell I want out of my life at the same time.

It's kind of nuts. I am so confused. I am trying to do this freelance thing but sometimes the sure thing, the full-time thing, is so appealing, I can't help but feel enchanted by its spell. Getting the call from the HR woman, I feel both elation and a pit in my stomach.

For me, freelancing is about creating an environment in my life where I can earn money in a job that satisfies me, while at the same time, have the energy and time to focus on my writing. And maybe the reason why the full-time job is so comforting is because I have a definite excuse about why I am not writing, and if I succeed at freelancing, I would have no excuse but to write and follow my dreams.

Why are the things you want most the most terrifying?

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