Have great communication skills: Fluent in English, broken Polish, and hand-gestures and facial expressions that work in every language.
Proficient in making travel arrangements, reading a map, carrying heavy loads, writing stories, taking pictures, cake tasting, cookie tasting, ice-cream tasting, wine tasting, and sleeping in rooms full of strangers. Can occasionally be fun.
If required, can also develop multi-platform, out-of-the-box, never-been-done-before integrated marketing programs for magazine advertisers. Have not developed multi-platform, out-of-the-box, never-been-done before integrated marketing programs for magazine advertisers in four months, but such talents die hard.
Newly acquired computer skills: Gmail, Facebook, Skype, Blogger. Determined that Weather.com is always wrong, but it does not matter:
Will be kind enough to refrain using the following phrases in client meetings and conference calls:
"Well, when I was in
"Do you speak English?"
"But the Germans said…"
"What country am I in?" Wait, what day is it?"
"I have a train to catch."
"What do you mean I have to work?"
"When do we eat cake?"
Looking for freelance opportunities but will consider full-time if the need for health insurance becomes an urgent matter (broken bones, liver failure, rabies, etc.). Travel bug does not apply.
References:
Dan,
Maria, Cedar Knolls, NJ: My mom, who thinks I deserve any job I want and will tell you so, but is probably worried at this very moment that I might get rabies.
3 comments:
YOU'RE HIRED!
You're funny :) You'd think New York would be the easiest place to find an editorial or marketing job, but I'm guessing the competition is fierce. I have no doubt, however, that like a great piece of cake, an employer will gobble you up in no time!
"Can occasionally be fun." What do you mean? Your a "Fun Pig" now!!!
BTW, nice resume. Electronic Connectors is hiring if your interested. You would fit in perfectly:)
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