I haven't felt like writing in my blog lately. I haven't felt like writing anything lately. Truth be told, I am completely uninspired. My life has become completely routine, like a cd that keeps replaying itself as soon as it is finished. Wake up early, head to the gym, go to work, go home, make dinner, maybe do some copywriting or watching tv or reading or talking to Dan. I feel I am always at the grocery store or doing another load of laundry and I am always groaning when the weekend is over. Once and a while I head out for dinner or drinks with some friends, but that seems to be slowing down lately. I am just going through the motions.
Yesterday, my friend Megan imed me, congratulating me on my weight loss, but questioned how I enjoyed living without sweets or alcohol. Meaning: living without pleasure.
I admitted it was a little boring, but that is when I realized that that's what's missing right now. Some good old-fashioned genuine pleasure.
Not that I am living a completely pleasure-less existence. My favorite part of the day nowadays happens to be my workouts. This morning, for instance, since the sun is starting to rise around 6:30 now, I ventured into the park for a workout--my first time doing so before work all year. The pavement was cool and wet from the rain the night before. The trees just starting to show a tinge of flowers and green. And the birds, man, they were singing and chirping. Being surrounded by this beauty and calmness while alone with my thoughts was definitely worth waking up for.
So I have my moment and then I go home and snap back to reality and I spend most of the day trying to combat boredom at work. I have started walking home from work to add some kind of variety but walking home in the new neighborhood is not anywhere as enjoyable as it used to be in the old hood. The east side just has too many cars and you're constantly stopping and going--there is just no flow and it takes too long. My evenings go quickly and Dan comes home late and before we've had a chance to settle down and really talk, my eyes start drooping and I head to bed.
My goal for starting this blog was to live my life in New York the same way I did in Europe. I have something to tell you. I am not doing a good job.