March 1. I was really hoping I would have a job by now. I don't do well with this non-working thing. From past experience, this is something I know well about myself. I am feeling all the same despondent feelings all over again, only now I don't have the comfort of my own home to wallow in my self-pity.
I adore our current landlords, Cyndi and Chris, and their talkative son Sam, but I feel sorry for them because here at the two month mark, I am a dull and lethargic house guest, mired in doubt and worry. I would try to get out of their house, for their sakes, to give them some space from my negative energy, but the furthest I can go without a car is to the park or to Trader Joe's, which of course is hilarious because it's LA and who walks to the grocery store?
The best thing that Cyndi could do is drive me to the beach. Sam caught the croup, so he was a little under the weather, but we thought some fresh air would do him (and me) some good. It was a cool 70 degrees and foggy, so we were wearing sweatshirts the whole time, but being close to the sandy beaches and ocean waves lifted my spirits. We ate sandwiches from Bay Cities (delicious Italian deli meat!), and we watched a whole school of dolphins swim by! I have never seen anything like that before, and it made all my problems feel small and trite in comparison of its beauty.
When I lived in New York, I used to go to Central Park about once a week to recharge. I decided that the beach is the new Central Park.
Last weekend, Dan and I had an intensive apartment hunt, and we nearly settled on a charming two-bedroom apartment in our price range with two stories, hardwood floors and a tiny yard located on a quiet street a half mile from the beach, cute shops and restaurants. We hesitated -- it was a little too small, the fixtures a bit old, and what were those weird termite-looking bugs on the window sill? We asked the landlord to check into the bugs and the next day, someone else snatched up the apartment. Oh well. We're sort of bummed and relieved, but gosh, how great would it be to be able to walk to the beach....a grocery store was also walking distance, so there is always that too.
I tried to take a good picture of Sam which was nearly impossible since he was less than amused by my efforts and not feeling 100%. Here are my best shots:
"Hmmm...What is this giant contraption pointed in my direction?"
"If I turn around, maybe she will leave me alone."
"You're still there!" SCORN. SNOTS!
"Sure, I will play cute, but I refuse to acknowledge the photographer's existence."
"Fine, I will smile once. But only when you are not ready."
"Mommy, some lady creep is following me around with a camera."
"Make her go away."
"Going home! No more pictures! HAHAHAHAHA."