Seventeen minutes

To apply for a job, it used to be that just had to send in your resume and cover letter to be considered. Now more and more, companies are requiring you to fill out these elaborate online applications that ask an obscene amount of questions about your entire life story.

This afternoon, I decided to tackle one of these applications for a well-known company for a job that was posted today on a job board. I knew that I was absolutely qualified for this position. In fact, it was a no-brainer. I was a perfect fit. There was nothing in the job description I couldn't do or handle. It took me over a half an hour to fill out the whole online application--on top of writing a tailored cover letter and attaching my resume. But whatever, this is how it goes. This has been my life for the last few months. I hit the submit button and went on to the next application.

Literally, SEVENTEEN MINUTES LATER, I get the following email in my in-box that says: "Thank you for your interest in the position at XYZ Company. We have carefully reviewed your skills and qualifications. Unfortunately, we do not have an appropriate job opportunity for you."

I never take job rejections personally, but I feel a gentle suggestion is in order.

Dear HR Department for XYZ Company,
I know that you are probably busy people, though apparently not that busy because I got a rejection letter from your company SEVENTEEN MINUTES after mailing you my job application that took me FORTY-FIVE MINUTES to complete, but I need to get something off my chest. When it comes to sending a rejection letter--considering that it's just a form letter anyway--I wonder if it's possible that you wait at least a day to send it. Twenty-four hours would be good. At least then we can all PRETEND that you read through my stuff. Don't get me wrong--I am THRILLED for the honor of wasting my time to tell you about every job I've ever had, my education, my "elaborate" criminal history and a whole other pointless stuff you really don't need to know. But since you are obviously terrible at your job in the first place for not spotting my raw talent, great experience and utter awesomeness from my application, it wouldn't hurt anyone to have a little more time to "carefully review my skills and qualifications" anyway. I believe this small change would really make everyone's days and outlook on life much better in the long run.

Have a good day.
Sincerely,
Yvonne