Three Posts in One Day!

(What can I say, we're making up for lost time.)

I have to weigh in on this earthquake nonsense. The Great Quake of 2011 -- the one that revealed New Yorkers to be giant pansies.

New Yorkers honestly believe they're tougher than everyone. Put on your most obnoxious Brooklyn accent and say, "We're New Yorkers. We don't take shit from nobody. Nothin' scares us," and that's pretty much what it sounds like to live here on a daily basis. And then the earthquake hits and everyone FREAKS...OUT.

They're earthquake virgins, I get it. But the floor shakes for two seconds, not even enough to knock picture frames off the window sill, and these New Yorkers are paralyzed with fear. I mean, they're evacuating buildings and closing offices (see below)! What's great is that all these moments -- much like dining in a Mexican restaurant -- reveal who has lived in California before. And we're like, "It's an earthquake that struck five hours away. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along."

And that was the story of the Great Quake of 2011.