Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Happy thoughts

I know that I have been a bit--how shall we say--missing in action. I don't think I have even snapped a photo of myself in 2010. So perhaps it's possible that I don't even exist anymore.

Thankfully this is not the case.

Because in the last three weeks, aka from the moment I started my new job, I have experienced a rebirth of sorts. I feel like I have crawled from under the little rock I have been hiding for months and rejoined the rest of the world. I am greatly appreciative of things that I used to take for granted: a 9-to-5 work schedule, taking a lunch break, enjoying a long weekend, even doing marketing work. My job has coincided with my new workout/health regimen, and for me, stretching on my yoga mat or running in the park is the best antidepressant. I feel content.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like things are perfect now. I am more than half way done with my freelance assignment, with nothing lined up afterward, and so another stretch of job hunting awaits. My stomach flip flops when I look at my bank statement. I have anxiety. For some reason this time, I have a lot of optimism that it will all work out. I have been interviewing fairly consistently and something has just got to happen. I am ready to work. I am ready for my life to go back to place. I just want to feel like me again.

I haven't been writing lately because I was stuck under that rock, and it was hard to articulate. Or really, I didn't want to articulate. Lately, I have been feeling shy about exposing myself so publicly. But now that I am starting to feel a kind of quiet joy in my day to day, I thought I would share it with you. That's something I want to write about. Be patient with me as I regain my footing.

1 comment:

Susan said...

Quiet joy is a good thing! Welcome back to the real you.